How SouthEastern plan to stop your trains to Charing Cross and Victoria

As you may have heard, SouthEastern and the Department for Transport are considering innovative approaches to radically enhance your interchange opportunities.

I thought it might be worth going through their consultation document in a little more detail.

If you suspect SouthEastern trains and the DfT are off their collective rockers, there are three things you can do about it.  Let’s have a look through that lovely PDF

Oh yes Chris, I couldn’t agree more.  I’m all ears, even though you thought it was ok for gay people to be turned away from hotels, and you blocked Sadiq Khan’s attempts to take our trains away from disastrous SouthEastern and give them to TfL.

Yes.  Trains are not new technology.  Elon Musk can land a reusable rocket on a drone ship from space.  Trains are Victorian.  The reason they don’t work is idealogical.  They work in Europe.  They’re cheap in Europe.  They’re (mostly) nationalised in Europe.  Do you get me Chris?

In fact, SouthEastern is part of a massive transport company called Keolis part-owned by the French Government.  Just let that sink in.  Our leaders believe in market forces so strongly, that they think the best solution to out transport problems is to let a nationalised French railway company run them. In 2015, Keolis made 33 million Euros in profit, which they gave to their shareholders (70% of whom are the French government).  Not reinvested into our infrastructure, or some such bollocks.  Go-Ahead Group is the other part owner, and they made £157m in profit, up 16%.  So the French can run a profitable nationalised railway company, but we can’t, because Chris Grayling says so, and my ticket costs £1548 a year.

This is a great idea.  Thanks to Oyster, SouthEastern and DfT know precisely where and when we get in and out of the transport network.  And do they use this data to automatically reimburse us when they’re outside their terms of service?  Not on your nelly.  But, have no fear, Chris is to the rescue!  He has an innovative plan!

Instead of being allowed to fill out a form when your train is 30 minutes late and pop it in a post box, he has a truly 21st century solution!  He’s going to let you fill out a form when your train is 15 minutes late… Maybe…

Oh, thank God – that’s what we’ve all been crying out for!  We don’t need cheaper tickets, no no, we want Wi-Fi!  You see, commuters don’t have mobile phones with data plans… What we really want is to give the train companies another excuse to “reinvest our money” into another pointless scheme.  Crappy non-working wifi for everyone!  And stop calling it a fleet.  Fleets are elegant, and move in formation.  Your trains don’t.

Oh Chris… Is it complex to run your little trains?  Do you want to give us simpler opportunities?  My work is tricky too.  Maybe I’ll make it simpler and still get paid the same… That sounds lovely.  Or maybe, you know, just figure out how to get your shit together… You’ve had since the 19th century to figure it out.

Hang on, haven’t you been messing with our journeys into London Bridge for the last TWO YEARS to solve precisely this problem?

Please make sure you go and have your say on his proposals.

How to stop Southeastern cutting trains to Charing Cross and Victoria

SouthEastern Trains really want to simplify your journeys.

They think your life would be much simpler if you had more interchange opportunities when going on your daily commute to Charing Cross or Victoria.  Maybe you’d like to change at Lewisham?  I’m pretty sure your ticket price will remain the same.

If you think this is total bollocks, and SouthEastern ought to be ashamed of themselves, then you have some options.

You can sign this petition, just like 14,500 other people have done.

Please email BetterSouthEastern@dft.gsi.gov.uk, you can use the text below as a template – please amend it to reflect your experiences:

Dear Sir/Madam,

This following is a formal response to the South Eastern Rail Franchise Consultation document published in March 2017.

I’m responding as an individual.

My personal details:

First Name, Surname

First Half of Postcode (eg SE3)

My nearest station is Blackheath

I normally travel to Victoria and Charing Cross from Blackheath Station.

I usually travel some time between 6am-9am and 5pm-8pm every weekday.

The reason I travel is to get to work, but also during leisure time.

My accessibility needs are…

I am responding specifically to Question 17 in the consultation.  I strongly oppose the idea of  SouthEastern stopping offering routes to Victoria and Charing Cross.  I do not want to make multiple changes on a line that previously offered a direct route.  I do not believe that SouthEastern will offer significant improvements in reliability or regularity in service, and suspect they are just using this as a way to lessen the burden of their license, whilst passengers will still have to pay the same prices to get into London.

Finally, there’s public consultation at 10am on Saturday 1st April at Glass Mill Leisure Centre map (the one next to Lewisham Station.  That’s today/tomorrow, depending on when you’re reading this!  Please attend if you can.

 

Manor House Gardens under threat

The fantastic Manor House Gardens is threatened with money-saving measures designed to get rid of park wardens etc…

It’s the kind of place you only discover when you have kids.

The park has a brilliant café (Pistachios), and one of the few remaining libraries that the council forgot to shut down.

As a result of your efforts Martin Hide (Green Scene, Lewisham Council) and Darren Budden (Glendales, contractor) will take questions about current service provision and next steps at an open meeting on the 24th February, 7.30pm at the Manor House Library, Lee.

This is a great opportunity to show your support and make your views known. I am keen we get a good turn out as I know many users are concerned about the impact of the cuts on the safety of Manor House Gardens.

Friends of Manor House Gardens on Facebook

£150 for a polar bear

Technically it’s three polar bears. They’re not real. They’re stuffed. Two of them are quite small.

Christmas spirit

Every time I see this poster it freaks me out. I imagine a ghostly woman with hair over her face slowly dragging a sledge of presents towards her unsuspecting victims. A smell of lavender oil fills the house. And they all begin to feel calm. Too calm…

Missing sausage dog

Eimear writes:

My little sausage dog Holly is missing and has been sighted in the Morden Road area of Blackheath Village in the last few days. I’ve put up posters and searched and asked around. People have been very kind. She was last seen near the white gate on Morden Road coming out of the green gated garages – yesterday afternoon.

I’ve searched and called but obviously can’t go trespassing on people’s property. I think I heard her barking tonight. But she stopped after a short time, afraid perhaps to call attention to herself in the dark. This was in the Plantation/Swayne Place area. I think she is holing up in gardens. Could you please, please send out a plea for people to search gardens, sheds and garages. It is so cold for a small dog to be lost. She is friendly on approach. I need the next person who sees her to hang on to her and contact me (07904033338).

Blackheath Village Day

Great to see the village lights working again – much better than last year!   Mysterious sightings of pigs notwithstanding, the whole day was full of music, events, food and drink.  Really good effort.  My range of fabric bags will be available any day now…

 

Pigs in (green) space

Finally photographic verification of the mythical pig lady.. After many tweets, a photo from @catamacleod :

Just when I thought I couldn’t love #Blackheath any more, I saw a woman telling her pig to sit http://t.co/DcS3NHd27s

And this from @WarrenKing:
Found: ‘Walter’ the Blackheath Pig, having his belly tickled outside @Brakebikes in Montpelier Vale #BlackheathPig http://t.co/EJBO3RSkGv

Bakerlooisham

UPDATE: Replaced this image with my own, because the official image doesn’t use the right font.

Transport for London are consulting on extending the Bakerloo line as far as Lewisham, and possibly further. The consultation ends on Sunday, so if you think it’s a good idea (I do), please go and have your say before Sunday. The Labour party have also jumped on the bandwagon, and coined the catchy Bakerlooisham name, but think that starting work in 2023, and finishing it in the 2030’s is possibly a little tardy. You think?! I totally agree, but I wonder how many of these politically inspired petitions are really about hoovering up email addresses of potential voters whose viewpoints might align with Labour. I’ve signed a few in the past and seem to have been inadvertently subscribed to all manner of mailing lists… Anyhow, the TfL consultation page won’t have this problem. Links below:

• TfL’s consultation page (expires on Sunday)
• Labour Party’s petition to get the extension to go through Lewisham.
• BBC News article
• Campaigning website
• Heidi Alexander’s post (Local MP)
• Worth reading the comments on Brockley Central’s post, especially about Lewisham becoming an overcrowded hub station..

Finally, here’s a wonderful map, reimagining the tube map, so that South London had as many stops as North London currently does, and vice versa:

Breadwinner in Blackheath

The new Bakery in Blackheath is going to be a massive success, if today’s footfall was anything to judge by.  Having taken up the space that India Jane left empty, the place was totally heaving by 11:30 today.  I counted at least 6 buggies being dragged up and down the steps.  I can’t understand why they would put steps in rather than a ramp, as the place seems to be a total push chair magnet right now.

Maybe there’s not enough space at the bottom level, if they want to keep the lovely rounded windows, but the upper level could easily have accommodated a ramp.  Instead, their army of staff and customers seem to be constantly helping people up and down the steps with their buggies. Wonder whether that many staff will still be on hand, after the initial setup time is over?

The entrance level has a tonne of proper bread in one window, and a few small tables in the other.  The bread is handed to you by the bread person, and then you take it to the counter, which is full of fantastic looking brioche sandwiches, cheese straws, biscuits, and scones.  If you want to eat in, it’s table service – you order at the central bar thingy, and are handed a table number.  They sell teas (in a pot) & coffees (which were great).

None of it is cheap – two cheese straws and a herb & cheese scone with a couple of coffees and a pot of tea came to more than £15, but it’s a lovely environment, and it all tasted great.

Downstairs, you can see an army of bakers making more goods, which are constantly being carried up and downstairs on trays.

They have gently blasphemic loyalty card “Give us this day our daily bread (or coffee)” – the tenth bread or coffee is free..  Which brings me to the Bugle’s thesis on loyalty cards:  If all customers acted rationally, when handed a loyalty card, all customers should pass the card to the person behind them in the queue.  Then every tenth coffee sold would always be free.  But we don’t, because humans are weird.

Anyway, back to the bakery… The whole place feels like something out of the movie Chocolat, but with bread instead of cocoa.  It’s going to be here to stay, I reckon. If only they rented out VHS tapes, they’d be perfect.