World class customer service

“Can I have two tickets from the boundary of zone three to three bridges please? I’ve got an annual gold card.”

He gives me two tickets from Blackheath, costing over £18, instead of £13.

When I question it, I’m told its because I’ve only got one annual gold card.

“But my wife has one too- she’s travelling with me!”

“If I can’t see it, you can’t have it. It’s policy”.

So I cancelled both tickets, go and get my wife’s card, and finally buy the correct tickets.

Why can’t I choose the start and end location of any ticket I choose to purchase? With a single annual gold card, I’m entitled to up to three off peak discounted tickets if the other people are travelling with me.

We pay £2,800 a year to the train companies to be treated like criminals.

Snakes on a train

Several reports of a man carrying a snake in Blackheath today:

It's not just ferret man at Blackheath station. He's now joined by white adder man who carries a live snake with him

— Michael Harris (@mjrharris) July 21, 2013

“@mjrharris: It's not just ferret man at Blackheath station. He's now joined by white adder man who carries a live snake with him”> what?!?!

— Heidi Alexander (@heidi_mp) July 21, 2013

@heidi_mp @blackheathbugle @mjrharris Report hm to police. Adders are a protected species in the UK.

— Frank Bath (@FrankBath) July 21, 2013

@FrankBath @blackheathbugle @mjrharris hmm. I've never seen this guy. It's very weird. Mike, have u ever seen the snake?

— Heidi Alexander (@heidi_mp) July 21, 2013

@heidi_mp @FrankBath @blackheathbugle yes today at the station. Not sure it was an adder but it was a white snake: head outside rucksack

— Michael Harris (@mjrharris) July 21, 2013

@mjrharris the thought makes me shudder – I am not good with snakes. Would be interested in thoughts of @blackheathbugle readers on this …

— Heidi Alexander (@heidi_mp) July 21, 2013

Booming Boris Everywhere

So far, I have heard Boris say “Hi folks” whilst waiting for trains at Blackheath.  I’ve heard him say “Hi folks” as I interchange at London Bridge.  I’ve heard him say “Hi folks” at Charing Cross whilst making my way to the underground.  I’ve heard “Hi folks” as I scurried through at least three tube stations.

And I could just about get by with the occasional grumble on Twitter to maintain my sanity.  But today, after hearing it three times at three different stations, I took a bus to Sainsbury’s.  The bus was full.  It was too hot. Everybody was standing.  And then, along came the aristocratic old Etonian who read Classics at Oxford calling me his “folk”.

I’m not his folk, and he isn’t mine.  I never will be.  It was only on the bus when I realised what a disaster the “Hi folks” recorded messages are.  They make you feel as though you are living in a police state.  I feel like I’m being told how to think, without any control over when I hear it.  It’s the same message everywhere, and it doesn’t change.  It’s relentless.  And it’s starting to terrify me.

I realise that we live in a democracy, and that we’re lucky to do so.  But playing the announcements everywhere with such ease demonstrates that most of the equipment is in place to remove our democracy at any time.  All the machinery necessary to tell you how to feel, and what to think is sitting there, and is ready to go.  And that scares the life out of me.

And it’s weird, because that Tannoy system has probably been set up for years, but I’d never noticed it until I heard it on the bus for the fourth time today.

Charing Cross photo by Flickr user Mike_fleming.  Booming Boris Johnson from Wikipedia.

Longer platforms at Blackheath?

Another interesting story on the Blackheath Village Residents Group site:

Network Rail has distributed this letter to residents living close to the station, advising that work will shortly be underway to lengthen the platforms to take 12 coach trains.

Didn’t they extend it to take 12 cars back in 2010?

Get the sliding door reopened

I’m using the excellent new FixMyTransport to persuade Southeastern to get SouthEastern to re-open the sliding blue door!

Who wouldn’t love a website with the tag line “Euston we have a problem”?!

Can anyone explain to me why it would be a good idea to permanently close the side exit from Blackheath station by barricading it with a bannister? Tired commuters on their way home used to love gasping out into the open air. It makes no sense to keep it locked, and makes us miserable!

Please come and support me at

http://www.fixmytransport.com/campaigns/lets-get-southeastern-to-re-open-the-sliding-blue-

Thanks!

PS – The shortened version is bit.ly/openthisdoor which would probably fit on a sticker :)

The age of Steam returns to Blackheath (fleetingly)

A steam train is set to chug through Blackheath on Sunday morning. More info on 853blog, and IanVisits. (Video shows the 2009 appearance by YouTube user Vickyanand)

Steaming through Blackheath Station

Chris writes:

“Just happened to be waiting for a train the other day at Blackheath station when a steam train came rushing through. It was the Cathedrals Express (apparently travels to Cathedral cities) – managed to get a pic – came out OK for a rushed mobile pic I think, quite evocative of a bygone age”

A trainspotting friend of Chris’ then added:

“It is fantastic – this is Tornado, the newly built steam locomotive – between trips on the main line, it is sometimes kept at Hither Green – probably it was on its way back from central London and was taking a long way round via Dartford so that it could be turned and would end up facing in the right direction.”

Blackheath Train Time Table from 1889

Just spotted The Blackheath Society newsletter in the local library (you can pick up a copy for free in there). Lots of good stuff, including an attempt to hold SouthEastern to account for their overcrowded trains. One particular gem is this copy of the railway and “omnibus” timetables:

The Society makes the point that in those days there were several trains direct to Finsbury Park and King’s Cross. The first train to Charing Cross was much earlier (5:17 instead of 5:46 as it is now). However, there were fewer trains in the mornings overall to Charing Cross. (I counted 9 trains between 5am-10am, whereas we now have 18).

The newsletter is also appears slightly bruised over the criticisms of the proposed Library Square. They point out that they are not property developers, and are only interested in improving the character and environment of Blackheath. Overall, from the tone of the newsletter, they seem to be having a rethink.

The dwarf is back!

Just when you thought it was safe to commute, here is the ultra-short camera person, out again, to terrify Blackheath’s commuters with unflattering “up the nostrils” shots. Will the transport injustices never end?!

Here’s the last, strangely shot package, in almost exactly the same format… I reckon the producer lives in Blackheath…

SouthEastern Trains make their sorry excuses

As pointed out by @AdamBienkov, SouthEastern have provided an explanation of why they ran such a poor service during the inch or so of snow that fell last month in the South East.  I’ve tried to convert it into text, but the hopelessly blurry, badly scanned PDF file provided at the london.gov website made it even less comprehensible.

Here’s a quick summary, if you haven’t got time to read the real thing:

Why did you run a revised timetable, finished at 8.30pm throughout the piddling quantity of snow that fell?

We realised that we’d have to pay lots of money out to our customers for our lousy service, unless we under-promised and over delivered, so rather than try to put on as many trains as possible, we figured out that we could stick up some dirty A4 sheets of laser-printed Times Roman warnings, and this would allow us to wriggle out of our obligations – like this one!

Why won’t you be offering refunds to season ticket holders?

Because they’re a bunch of mugs!  Why on earth should we?!  They pay £1000 a year, and we don’t even have to give them a seat on our cattle trucks!*  Are you high?  If we started giving them their money back, we wouldn’t be able to make £61.5 million in profits!

Now that we live in the age of the internet, maybe you could make it easier for your customers to request compensation?

Yeeeassss… That’s a greeeat idea… Maybe we’ll make a little iPhone app for each of our customers?  And you can click on Charles Horton’s beaming face every time you get squeezed into a carriage, and sit waiting at London Bridge for 20 minutes on  a Monday morning?  That’d work.  If it’s all the same with you, we’ll stick with arcane system we have right now, thanks.

See also:

All aboard the Gravy Train for Network Rail Bosses

* Cattle trucks = “franchises focused on high density, urban commuter markets.”