Spamtastic Alex Neil

Alex Neil estate agents, well known for having the most spammy internet marketing, have really out-done themselves with this one: Don’t click, it only encourages them…

I’m not sure that the mechanical turker who wrote this has ever actually been to Blackheath:

Blackheath has always acquired an atmosphere of mystery.

To Alex Neil Estate Agents, unquestionably…

Since virtually any Estate Agent SE3 would know, for countless years the region purported as the ultimate resting place connected with many of those that perished in the Black Death plague. Re

Not sure what the “Re” stands for… Oh, and, even if a region could purport, no they didn’t.

The SE3 post code area possesses unique variations of property or home available for investors.

Note that the variations themselves are unique, not the properties or homes.

By far the most famous and then the most in demand is generally the large Victorian family homes. These kinds of homes, normally set in a good size gardens, appear to sum up this suburb perfectly. Victorian residences generally have larger rooms than the modern-day within the very same price range, with higher ceilings and also fine original characteristics, they’re experienced as a house for a lifetime rather than quick investment property.

House for a lifetime. Not chopped up into little flats… Oh no, that never happens.

Almost all the village’s properties, be they new-build or even Victorian, benefit from their closeness to possibly the areas most well-known asset – the actual heath itself. Placed in the centre of the village, this heath gives residents an open green space that other regions would battle to match up.

The heath isn’t at the centre of the village. It’s north of the village. But you’re only an estate agent trying to sell houses here, why should you be expected to know a thing like that?

In times gone by when free, general public space appeared to be unusual, Blackheath must have been a magnet for all those wanting to get away from the cramped East End conditions.

Yes, in times gone by London was well known for its urban sprawl. These days the city is a rural idyll…

Nowadays, it’s great for the pram and also buggy brigade that’s migrated within the location recently.

The brigade have migrated within Blackheath?

Blackheath Estate Agents are familiar with the reputation their vicinity has with regard to these kinds of lavish houses and also grander open public spots. Recently, property developers have was able to persuade council planning officials on the requirement for much less lavish property.

I think that last non-sentence has was actually made is making my eyes bleeding.

Subsequently a number of the old Georgian and Victorian buildings are already separated into flats.

But earlier you said that they weren’t chopped into flats… And you changed tenses mid-sentence…

This, along with a amount of recently constructed apartment blocks, has diversified the actual area’s property offering.

A amount of my soul just died whilst watching the way that you use apostrophe’s.

As you would expect, this has prompted an extremely distinct inflow into the vicinity when compared to the family house market place.

As the inflow inflowed into the vicinity, he could not hesitate to be amazed by its very distinctiveness…

Quite a few young professionals see here as an affordable alternative to pricey Greenwich.

Er, no. Quite a few young professionals are crapping themselves about how they’ll ever afford to buy a shoe-box anywhere in Blackheath or Greenwich.

Blackheath is always certainly one of London’s most-loved villages.

Go on, I’ll give you that one.

Reachable from most of the main motorways coming down the East of England and into Kent, and close to the centre of London by several transport means, it gives a terrific property investment opportunity. Be it family home or maybe Pied a Terre, this vicinity will certainly suit your changing property or home and lifestyle needs throughout the years.

Blah blah

Alex Neil Estate Agents are one of the largest and most successful independent Agencies in South East London. Be sure to see how we can help you Buy a property in SE3 Estate Agent SE3

Alex Neil spam SE3 SE3 spam spam spam, Britney Spears, Houses, Flats, Barf, Distinctive Inflow, I thought the internet was actually for words, etc, etc…

10 Comments

Filed under blackheath

10 responses to “Spamtastic Alex Neil

  1. Ah, you gotta love their extremely distinct inflow of enthusiasm for the village tho! Ble$$!

  2. Gavin

    Crumbs. Depressing. RIP the English language.

    If it makes you feel any better, I used one of their signs as a sledge during the snowfall. So some good has come of Alex Neil.

  3. Anne

    I’m a writer and editor. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this utter, utter bollocks. So I’m doing both…

  4. Neil Rh

    We shouldn’t be too surprised by estate agent’s hyperbole and lack of historical knowledge. I remember one famous local house flogger in the 1980s telling us that the property he had for sale, was built in the 1840s on the express command of Admiral Lord Nelson.

    Tell Alex Neil that Blackheath had nothing to do with the Black Death or used as a burial ground. Enjoyed its name at least two hundred years before that pestilence. Which wasn’t, in fact, known as the Blackheath Death until early Victorian times.

    And, Mr Bugle, stop calling Blackheath a common. It’s manorial waste in the ownership of the Earls of Dartmouth and HM Queen – God bless her.

    Toodle pip
    Neil

    • And God bless you too! Will try to avoid calling it a common, but it’s so easy to slip! I’d love to know specifically which properties were built illegally as encroachments back in the 18th century… Also, did you see that Greenwich and the other Royal Parks are going to be controlled by the GLA, not the local authorities?

      • Neil Rhind

        Good morning! Encroachments: the biggest was Greenwich Park by Humfrey of Gloucester in 1433, then Dartmouth Row, The Orchard, St John’s Park and north side of Shooters Hill Road, bits and pieces here and there, the central triangle of the Village.

        I haven’t made up my mind whether Grenwich Park will be better looked after by the GLA than any other body. Seems a daft transfer to me. The GLA could have stopped the equestrian event in Greenwich Park planned for 2012 but didn’t. Commercialisation seems to be the name of the game, whosoever or whatsoever is in charge, and I am deeply depressed by it all.

        Have a nice day

        Neil

  5. Attention, thread merge alert: Did you notice the author’s name? Clearly a typo for Darrell Mutt. I reckon it’s that Andrex puppy and that’s exactly what he was composing in the first frame of the ad….

  6. Michele O'Brien

    It confirms many of one’s worst suspicions about estate agents. Sounds to me like the sort of person who probably drives in bus lanes.

  7. Gill S

    To think I dropped in for a bit of light relief from essay marking — yeeeoooow!!!

  8. Debbie Montague

    Do NOT use these Estate Agents. Alex Neil Estate Agents promised that when it was time to move into our rental property it would be cleaned however it is dirty and smoke ridden. We’ve phoned and emailed several times but to no avail, they’ve got our £2250 so they don’t care. We haven’t even been able to move in yet because of this. We have now taken the Complaints Procedure route. BE WARNED!!!!

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