Mind over matter

I took a train back to Blackheath last night after the office party.
I had drunk too much cooking lager, and got the hiccups. Not mild “hic” hiccups. These were horrible, loud, sea-lion-gasping-for-air hiccups, annoying everyone in the carriage. I tried everything, but they wouldn’t stop. I had to put my headphones on, to drown out the racket…

When the train got to Lewisham, a girl on the next row of seats turned around and gesticulated at me to remove the headphones. She said “Excuse me, do you want to come back to my place and have sex with me?”. I thought I misheard, so said “What?”, and she repeated it again.

Because I love Mrs Bugle very much, I of course said “No!”

Then, as she got off the train, she said “I thought that might get rid of your hiccups”.

And the weirdest thing is that it did. Not a single hiccup back to Blackheath!

So the cure for hiccups: an inappropriate request from a total stranger on a packed train!


Filed under blackheath

7 responses to “Mind over matter

  1. Liz

    This … is so cool. Ha ha – that girl deserves a medal. Well done and yay you for not hiccupping all the way home. :-D

  2. ElizaF

    What a nice lady …. although, what would she have done if you had said yes? The mind boggles. :)

  3. ElizaF

    Hang on, you got ON a SouthEastern train heading to BLACKHEATH this week and it actually DEPARTED the station. That is the most hiccup-curing faint-making news ever!

  4. that is an absolute classic .. superb

  5. Bob Land

    With an offer like that, the trains will be even more crowded next week,
    with a whole symphony of hiccupping passengers .

  6. Lazy_T

    Ok, I’ll be the first to ask, what time was your train? (so I can catch it next week!)

  7. A local blog that makes me laugh (well with the comments, anyway). Thank you God.

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